As a pastor, I was usually tuned in to the emotional state of my congregation.  There were, of course, those members who wore their emotions on their sleeves so no one had to wonder how they felt (which was often quite negative or depressive).  And there were others who kept their emotions in check like Mr. Spock until difficult circumstances brought them to me for wisdom or counsel.  But most of the congregation fell somewhere in between – and collectively, it was usually pretty easy to sense the mood of the body.  My biggest challenge was not the emotions of the congregation, but remaining attuned to my own emotional reservoir – which ultimately became dangerously dry.

Pastors tend to be so focused on meeting the needs of others that we often do not take care of our own needs – whether it’s volitional or not, sacrificing our own emotional health not only impacts our own lives, but family and ministry as well.  And for many pastors, ignoring emotional warning signs (which often manifest as growing stress or burnout), leads to waning commitment on the spiritual and physical reservoirs too.  The combination spells certain doom for our ability to authentically serve as Christ’s under-shepherds.

There is an overabundance of books and seminars out there today to help one address his or her emotional needs.  Some are excellent, others are not.  When it comes to keeping the emotional reservoir full, I have found that there are four “essential” areas on which we must focus: one’s identity in Christ, seeking (and accepting) wise counsel from others, ongoing personal discipleship, and the regular practice of peacemaking.

Finally, a proper Christ-centered identity helps us to see how we uniquely fit within the family of God.  This is so important because the rugged individualism of America has now fully infiltrated the church -- and the lives of many pastors too.  But the truth is that we are dependent upon Christ and His body.  Accepting Christ, we are joined to His community.  Pastors sometimes take their role as Christ's "under-shepherds" too far, forgetting that Christ alone is Head of the body and we, like those we lead, are "body parts."  A healthy identity in Christ gives us all perspective and helps us to thrive where God has planted us to bloom.

Wise Counsel
Another critical factor in maintaining a full emotional reservoir is regular access to and acceptance of wise, biblical counsel.  Such counsel comes in many forms: a timely word from a parent, prayerful guidance from church leaders, the wisdom of denominational officials and other colleagues, and even professional Christian counselors when needed.  But again, because pastors often feel the need to show the people they lead that they "have it all together," and because pastors allow themselves to become overscheduled, making time for wise counsel is often sought too late.

A pastor who is struggling with an addiction struggles on his own for fear that asking for help will be a career-ending move.  A pastor who is verbally beaten by a member of his congregation tries to "table" the pain he is feeling so that he can move ahead with the church's ministry.  A pastor who has a serious family issue, one that has him totally distracted from his ministry, succumbs to depression because he incorrectly assumes that he is a "failure" with his family and must, thereby, be a failed pastor as well.  A pastor unwittingly enters into a church that is at war and becomes collateral damage in what is a long standing conflict, and simply does not know what to do or where to turn.  Need I go on?  In each of these cases (and others like them), wise counsel can and usually will make the difference.

Personal Discipleship
A pastor's ongoing personal discipleship is another critical piece of this puzzle.  Because the Church of these United States has unfortunately relegated nearly all "discipleship" down to an academic experience, filling the head with doctrine but not changing the heart, we have completely forgotten the holistic transformation authentic discipleship produces.  It changes the whole man -- including his emotions.

Paul talks about the transformation, specifically noting how it renews the mind (Romans 12:2).  He speaks of how our attitudes should become like that of Christ -- completely humble and other-oriented (Philippians 2:3-11).  He describes the ultimate goal to reach "unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Ephesians 4:13).  There is so much more, but we quickly see that personal discipleship, along with everything else it produces, is a primary component in emotional health.   And this is especially important for pastors to remember, if only because their lives are so readily consumed in the service of others.  We must all continue our personal growth and transformation.

Personal Peacemaking
A fourth vital factor in keeping one's emotional reservior filled strikes at the very core of both the Christian faith and the pastoral ministry: personal peacemaking.  Conflict is now at almost epidemic proportions within the American church.  It's worse in some denominations than in others, but none has been spared this onslaught of Satan.  Few things have the power to completely destroy the life and witness of believers, pastors and whole congregations as does unresolved conflict.  And since it is so prevalent today, no pastor can dare risk allowing conflict to go unaddressed in the church, and especially when the pastor is a party to it!

Jesus is the preeminant peacemaker!  He is both our teacher on this and our prime example.  Jesus sacrificed more than we can comprehend to be incarnate and to take our place on the cross.  His life, death, resurrection and ascension are all a part of God's awesome plan to redeem mankind, the crown of His creation.  It's all about reconciliation and peace -- making the way for sinful man to be righteous once again before God.  Christ has given us both the message of reconciliation (the gospel) and the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-21).  This is the very heart of the Christian Faith!  And for anyone who calls themselves "Christian" to refuse to walk in this reconciliation is to destroy any hope of our witness for Christ.  It is to declare to the world that we have a powerless message.  It is to demonstrate to our congregations that we have no integrity in what we preach.  It's sin.

Friends, please hear me on this: there is nothing that will either bind or free you more on every level than denying or pursuing personal peacemaking.  Pastors cannot refuse to reconcile with anyone and believe that their emotional reservoir will ever be full.  The Holy Spirit will give freedom when we have done everything in our power to reconcile, even when the other party rejects our confession and/or forgiveness.  But to choose to avoid that which will demonstrate the reconciliation power of the gospel on a personal level is to let the reservoir run dry.  Personal peacemaking is not an option for any believer -- especially for pastors.

Most of the years that I served in local church ministry, I did not pay attention to my own emotional dearth.  I knew I was in pain, but I rationalized that "Jesus told me there would be tribulation."  It was not until an older, wiser friend came alongside of me and helped me address this area of my life that I realized how vital it is to a healthy, fruitful pastorate.  I'm still working on it.  I feel like Paul, who notes that he has yet to obtain the goal (Philippians 3:12).  But I am pressing on.  And I hope that you also will press on.  Because we neglect our emotional reservoir to our own detriment.