A Group Hug
by Rev Terry H. Shanahan, Northeast Regional Minister
We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 1 John 1:13
I have recently returned from the NECCF Pastors and Spouse Retreat. This is an event that happens every year for the ministry couples in the New England area. We gather at a local chain hotel, and take 24 hours to get away from the stresses of ministry, sleep in a quiet room with a comfy bed. The pastors and spouses share meals and renew friendships with others who share a ministry journey. We are most often a group of about 20 couples, and I wish that more couples took advantage of this opportunity. It is one way in which we can live life together.
During the retreat we had a time of sharing where we broke into groups of men and women. I think this was the most powerful part of the retreat. I know the men appreciated the time together. We discussed how we had to guard our lives and marriages because that is the area where we will be attacked by the evil one. As men, we agreed that we are not always there for our partners. We too often succumb to the pressure of ministry and lose sight of our priorities, not carving out enough time for our spouses. I heard that the women’s time of sharing was just as powerful — sharing the difficulties of being a partner in ministry while having a variety of expectations put upon you by the people you serve. And we all noted the loneliness of the ministry.
The national statistics are appalling. Ministry couples’ marriages are taking a big hit. I believe one thing we learned at this year’s retreat is that there is healing in sharing our stories with one another. Several couples who hadn’t previously known each other exchanged contact information in order to connect and lift one another up.
New England is the most concentrated of the CCCC regions for churches and clergy. But even with that, most of our pastors serve in somewhat rural areas and have to reach far and wide to find connection and support. This is even more true for their ministry spouses.
If we are to live life together, we need to be intentional in making and keeping those connections with other clergy couples. We have a tremendous amount to offer and tremendous blessing to receive when we live our lives together in Christ.
