Holding Your Tongue?
Lenn Zeller, Volunteer Director of Conference Care
The apostle Paul gave some sound advice in his letter to the church in Ephesus, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4: 29) How many hurt feelings, relational difficulties and even church conflicts result from careless, hurtful words spoken rashly and without thought? How much better off we would all be if we just exercised some restraint and tried hard to not allow any unwholesome talk to come out of our mouths!
“Non Sequitur” is a quirky but usually fun cartoon by Wiley Miller. It features Danae, a pre-adolescent girl with a pessimistic view of the world (but not of herself), and her friend Lucy, a talking pygmy Clydesdale who, like Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes, plays the silent observer most of the time. In a comic strip from May of 2013, Danae was sitting under a tree, when Lucy came along and the conversation went like this:
Lucy: “Hey, watcha doing, Danae?”
Danae: “Practicing.”
Lucy: “Practicing what?”
Danae: “Shut up and mind your own stupid business.”
Lucy: “Oh, well, excuuuse me.”
Danae: “No, that’s what I’m calling my new peace movement. We wouldn’t have any
problems if everyone just kept the junk inside their head from spilling out.”
Lucy: (After a long pause) “Oh… OK… It’s a bit rude, but I can get on board with that.”
Danae: “Shhh! Your face is leaking words.”
It was a bit rude — in character for Danae — but rude, nevertheless. Still, it does express the truth that there is much trouble caused when people simply allow the junk in their heads (or hearts) to spill out. Thoughtless words, unkind remarks, jokes that cut and sting, rash statements to defend ourselves at the cost of others…, these are things that cause countless heartaches and conflicts. How much better to be slow to speak quick to listen and slow to become angry! (James 1:19)
Maybe that’s why the Old Testament Proverbs are full of exhortations to be very careful with our words. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18) When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Proverbs 10:19) See also Proverbs 4:24; 10:11 and 32, 13:3; 15:1 and many more. James, the brother of Jesus, also had a lot to say about holding the tongue and not allowing it to be a source of harm to others.
The Bible passage that speaks most directly to this in my mind is from Jesus Himself: You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12: 34–37).
We will be judged for every careless word we have spoken! That alone should give us pause when tempted to let it fly. For the sake of the church, for the sake of our brothers and sisters in Christ, for our own sake… we need to keep some of those unkind, harsh words from spilling out. Give it some thought.
