Constructively Dealing with Difficult Experiences
by Lenn ZellerVolunteer Director of Conference Care
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:22–26)
In this particular passage, Paul was exhorting his “son Timothy” to all diligence and steadfastness in his ministry, and to faithfully discharge all the duties of his office. He urged Timothy to flee the evil desires of youth, and instead, pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
There are many translators who say the original language had no comma there in verse 22, and that it more correctly reads Pursue peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Realistically, it is not possible in this fallen world to be at peace with everyone, everywhere. But within the community of faith, where we share one purpose and one faith, where we all sincerely claim and call on the name of the Lord, we should pursue peace.
And how do we pursue peace in the body of Christ? For one thing, avoid foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. Don’t have anything to do with those who love to fuss and fume and argue and debate, because it only creates division and controversy. Some people just naturally seem to enjoy foolish and stupid arguments. They have no desire to feed on the nourishing Word of God. They get their jollies from arguing, bickering, squabbling, disputing and disagreeing. Don’t get drawn into that! It wastes time. It accomplishes nothing. Have nothing to do with that nonsense.
Secondly, pursuing peace in the body of Christ means to be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful, and to gently instruct those who oppose us. Once again, as it often does, it comes down to an attitude of humility and love. Here Paul used the word gently. Be patient, do not always and quickly jump to the attack. Try to be gracious and overlook as many offenses as you can. As Proverbs 19:11 says, A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
So perhaps our first response should always be, if at all possible, to overlook sins committed against us. God does not deal harshly with us when we sin. He forgives us and sent His Son to pay the penalty we deserve. So we should be willing to treat others in a similar fashion. By His sovereign grace, God can bring good out of our failures, and even out of our sins, and when we are damaged by life, or when we damage ourselves, He works to restore us to Himself. That is what we are called to do with others.
Those times when we must confront error that is damaging the church, we must do so gently, lovingly, patiently and kindly, teaching the Word of God in meekness. It means we don’t go into this with guns blazing, loaded for bear. We go in kindly and gently, trying to understand the feelings and pressures the other person may be under, and seeking to resolve the issue fairly. Remember that your purpose is to heal and reconcile, to win people back from the brink of self-destruction and back into the truth and the arms of their loving heavenly Father.
J. Stuart Holden tells of an old Scottish mansion close to where he had his little summer home:
The walls of one room were filled with sketches made by distinguished artists. The practice began after a pitcher of soda water was accidentally spilled on a freshly decorated wall and left an unsightly stain. At the time, a noted artist, Lord Landseer, was a guest in the house. One day when the family went out for a picnic, he stayed behind. With a few masterful strokes of a piece of charcoal, that ugly spot became the outline of a beautiful waterfall, bordered by trees and wildlife. He turned that disfigured wall into one of his most successful depictions of Highland life. (Swindoll, The Quest For Character, Multnomah, p. 49. eSermons: Sermon Illustrations)
That’s what God does for us. By His grace and through Christ, He turns our stained, disfigured lives into beautiful scenes of life and hope and glory. That’s what we are called to do… by gently restoring.
